


I’m Not Gonna Leave You Behind

by IcravedeathXD



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Chan’s a sweetheart, Felix is an ass man, Felix’s Elimination, Hair-pulling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and pretty sad, this is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:42:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16503233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcravedeathXD/pseuds/IcravedeathXD
Summary: I can’t think of a summary but they cry alot and Chan sucks Felix’s dick.





	I’m Not Gonna Leave You Behind

**Author's Note:**

> I started this stoned and kept forgetting to work on it except for other times I was stoned so this is probably trash I lowkey gave up at the end sorry

The split second the doors shut behind them, closing out all the cameras, all the people, everything and anyone that wasn’t just them they simply stood and stared at eachother. Felix’s makeup was essentially gone at this point, hands and sleeved wrists soaked in tears has wiped it off. Chan’s was moreso intact, nothing left around his eyes but aside from tear trails cut down his cheeks he at least looked presentable from a distance.

That single second of silence where they stood and stared at eachother was painful. It stabbed yet another pin into Felix’s numb chest. His body was tired from crying, Chan was must tired too, strong dark circles framed his eyes that he could see now that he was free from all the concealer. Yet they moved together, sluggish and exhausted. A soft embrace of slow breathing, palms flat and fingers splayed over eachothers backs.

He closed his eyes, resting them at long last. The body he held in his arms was vulnerable and quivering. The strong arms wrapped around him were soft and limp, yet his hands immovably stuck to his back.

He rubbed circles into the expanse of Chan’s shoulders as they shook, body tiring more with each heave and sob. He drew Chan impossibly closer, as if trying to put out a fire by smothering it, only to be burned.

Chan drew away and it seared his skin the last place Chan’s hands rested on his forearms before drifting away. Felix brought up his hands to wipe away Chan’s tears before Chan could. Upon Felix's first touch against his skin he relaxed his shoulders, brought his hands to rest on Felix’s triceps, even through his shirt his warm hands felt scalding, It didn’t burn his skin, but his blood ran hot from the point of contact. Coursing its way up through his veins, from his arms to his neck, crowding his brain.

He only had a moment to ponder the irony of Chan being the one that needed comfort. When they were away from the cameras his steel had melted away, melted away a long time ago but he didn’t want anyone to see. He only now let his protective layer be gone, rather than pretending it’s there.

His hands went to cup Chan’s cheeks, no longer needed to wipe away his tears he still felt the need to protect him, hold him until it didn’t hurt anymore.

Chan spoke, his voice wavered under its own quite weight “Felix, I-I-I I can’t- I don’t-“ he faltered for words, leaving an incomplete sentiment in the air when he leaned into Felix’s space, he rested their foreheads together and shut his eyes. Felix could feel Chan’s uneven breath hit his face. It felt like when he opens the oven and waves of burning air engulf him. Push him away from the open abyss of heat. With this he couldn’t be pushed away though, it drew him in closer, further into his firey demise.

He didn’t think he even could be pushed away until he was and he let it happen. Let his back, once held gently, now hit the wall only a few centimeters behind him. He drew Chan along back with him by his face, further than he should have dragged him in. Gently he brought Chan closer to him, bringing eachother into one another’s personal space. Their eyes locked, Chan’s eyes were red and puffy and he knew his were too.

Felix was exaughted from the day he just had, every word still rang in his ears and pained him all over again. Chan was tired and delirious, Felix could feel it radiating from him as he brought the man ever closer. So close there was nothing left, he couldn’t remember the last time he had kissed someone. He knew he had never kissed someone like this.

Chan was so gentle, like an animal afraid to eat from his hand. They kissed slowly, like one wrong move and it would all fall away. It was quick and when they pulled away from eachother each looked desperatly into their counterpart’s face, looking for stop signs and finding none.

Felix pulled Chan back into a soft kiss. Chan’s body practically melted into his, led by their connected lips. The only thing Felix could think about was how he was moving his lips and how Chan responded to it.

Chan moved very slowly, almost unexpectedly so; as if he was trying to rember everything about this, drink it in until he could identify every single detail of it.

Felix drew his hands from Chan’s cheeks to his hair, lacing his fingers through fried hair, unnaturally blonde and unnaturally straightened. He tugged lightly, unaware of his own subconscious action. Chan though, was very aware, his breath hitched abruptly at the sensation. Felix felt it against his face then reverb in painfully hot pulses throughout his body. He experimentally tightened his grip on Chan’s hair again, Chan’s jaw fell slack as he continued kissing Felix, like no matter what he wouldn’t disconnect their lips. Instead he slipped his tounge over Felix’s lips into his mouth to try an cover his reaction to what Felix had did.

Felix resiprocated the gesture. it probably looked disgusting, two sad men, ruins of crying on there faces, playing tonsil hockey against a gross dorm room wall. Chan’s tounge moved in slow time with his lips, Felix felt as though his mouth was full of fire.

Felix couldn’t tell how long it had been, he felt like this moment was eternal, burnt into his memory as perfect and miserable at the same time.

He knew he shouldn’t have, he knew he should have let it be as calm comfortable kisses, but he couldn’t resist himself. He tightened a fist into the hair at the nape of Chan’s neck, he didn’t know what he thought would happen, but he didn’t expect the reaction he got.

Chan dug his blunt nails into Felix’s arms, his shoulder tensed up and he moaned into his mouth, muffled by their entangled tongues. Felix’s mind blanked briefly. He just made Chan moan. He made Chan full out fucking moan into him. Fuck, he wanted to do it again. Make him moan and beg before him, he pulled at Chan’s hair again, gripping at his dark roots. Chan’s responce was almost jarring, he tore away from the kiss, neck going limp as his head lolled onto Felix’s shoulder, the hands that were on his arms had shot to his hips, flat against his abdomen they held him hard against the wall. “Fuck Felix, do you even know what that does to me” Chan's voice came out in slow unsteady rasps that burned the shoulder he talked into.

Chan tilted his head so that his lips met the skin just above where Felix’s turtleneck covered, he left lazy kisses there, trailed them up to where his jaw met his earlobe, each soft kiss left a searing mark on Felix, not on the skin but under the flesh it would stay painful and hot. Felix’s whole body trembled, goosebumps rose on his arms as Chan spoke, “Do you know what I wanna do to you?” It was hardly above a whisper but it sent Felix out of his body.

“What might that be?” Felix responded, his deep voice adopted a new husky quality. He tugged at Chan’s hair with one hand as he spoke, the other slid to the small of his back. Felix saw the blood rush to Chan’s... ears. His ears. Felix definitely kept his focus on that and not how he was going out of his way to keep their hips as far apart as humanly possible. It’s not like Felix wasn’t sporting a solid semi at this point, but Chan wasn’t the least bit subtle. Chan, trying to get the situation under his control spoke, only for it to dissolve into curses moaned into Felix’s neck when Felix tightened his grip on his hair.

The hand that rested on Chan’s back began to apply more pressure, forcing his hips to move. Felix knew Chan was strong enough to fight back if he wanted, yet he let Felix guide him forward. Felix used the hand he had fisted in Chan’s hair to move his head to be more in line with his own, then connecting their lips he bucked his hips up against the searing pressure of Chan’s hands on his waist. The momentary friction between them was heavenly as he ground their hips together. Chan shook, less of a shiver more of a violent wracking of his body accompanied with a moan, slightly quieted in their conjoined mouths.

He’s pretty sure that’s just about when Chan snapped, all the caution melted away from his body as he leaned into the kiss, rolling his hips in along with him. The hands he had been holding Felix to the wall with weren’t doing much good at that, he couldn’t deny Felix of anything even if he wanted to. He didn’t bother using them to push Felix’s hips away from his own anymore, instead he slid them up his abdomen, under his tight sweater, trapping them between the offensive fabric and Felix’s body.

Felix rolled his hips against Chan again, drawing a low moan from the man before him. The hand rested on his lower back slowly wandered as their kiss deepened, Chan kissed him slow and careful, every bit of it was so gentle. Chan was so gentle. He was gentle and kind and driving Felix up the fucking wall.

When Chan dragged his bit down nails against Felix’s ribs it sent goosebumps up his spine, crashing through his body and tumbling from his lips as a loud throaty plea. He could feel Chan’s lips curl into a pleased smile against his own.

His hand, ever wandering, finds its place on Chan’s ass, Felix can’t say that he’s never checked him out before. He knows Chan works out to burn stress more than anything, but damn is he toned and damn does he have a nice ass. Felix gropes him through his rough, dark jeans, pulls him in close and grinds hard against him. A small noise comes from Chan in response to the touch, his hands slid behind Felix, digging his nails in as he dragged them down his back. His shirt had hiked up a bit now from having Chan’s arms completely wrapped around him. Their legs were tangled as they stood, bodies pressed flush against eachother and arms and hands clinging desperately to one another, their lips were moving together, connecting them in an unspoken bond.

Felix’s right hand, so comfortably laced in Chan’s hair, fell to his back, tracing down his spine he made his way down, intentions so obvious Chan would have rolled his eyes had they not been closed. Felix had two handfuls of Chan’s ass now, given his hands weren’t very big he covered as much area as possible, kneading the flesh as he pulled Chan into him again, and again Chan’s nails dug into him and it hurt so fucking good. They fell into that pace for maybe hours maybe seconds, rocking against eachother through all too tight pants, clawing at eachother for something more.

But when Chan withdrew from the kiss Felix snapped back into his body, grounded briefly in the cold air of the room. He didn’t want to open his eyes, he was expecting the worst, for Chan to pull away completely, leave him to take a cold shower and a long nap. But when he had gathered the courage to pry his eyes open he saw Chan, doing what he would describe as staring him down had the look on his face not been so comforting, so full of adoration it gave Felix butterflies.

Chan gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, smiling into it. Then promptly sinking to his knees, he dragged his blunt nails down Felix’s back, hard enough to leave red raised marks in a few hours, it sent violent shivers through Felix’s body. Chan’s eyes fucking locked into his through his slow decent, Felix trained his gaze on Chan, looking up at him on his knees, hands pressed into his hips, it made Felix dizzy.

Felix’s hand found its way to Chan’s hair again, languidly stroking what felt and looked like straw.

Felix felt like he needed to say something, he could hardly find his voice but it’s not like he could just pretend like he knew what he was doing “So-so I’ve never-“ he trailed off, but Chan picked it up, thankfully interrupting a thought that Felix didn’t want to put to explicit words. “Me neither” Chan spoke quietly, almost as if to himself.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing” he continued, deft fingers going to undo Felix’s belt. Felix tried to swallow the lump in his throat to no avail, every word out of Chan’s mouth, every little action, every glance worked him up more than he’d like to admit.

“I just wanna make you feel good” Chan unintentionally purred as he discarded the belt off into an unknown corner of the room. Felix felt his hand shake so he tightened it in Chan’s hair as if to stabilize himself.

Chan’s hands rested on Felix’s fly, “is this ok?” Worry woven into his tone and plastered on his face as he spoke.

When Felix found his voice again, he spoke not of his own volition but from a pure gut reaction, “Fuck. Yes, god yes, please” incoherent word jumble spilled from his lips, but it seemed to make sense to Chan, who chuckled a bit to himself, then pressed a soft kiss against the exposed skin from his raked up shirt.

Chan fumbled to undo his fly, when he did he wasted no time pulling Felix’s pants down mid way down his thighs. Chan reveled kissing Felix, kissing his waist, hips, thighs, nipping and sucking on his skin. The low whimpers and pleas from Felix only spurred him on

When he mouthed over his tented boxers though Felix threw his head back, banging it on the wall in the process. Chan was going to say something, ask if he was ok, but when he looked up at Felix, completely disheveled, blush run down to his neck, he simply kissed down his happy trail, as if to soothe him that way.

Felix writhed under the touch. The way Chan gently caressed him, hands smoothing over his skin, juxtaposed with the hickies and bites he was leaving on his thighs. Felix knew he was fucked when Chan looked up at him, eyes heavily lidded, looking so pleased with himself, proud of what a wreck he made Felix. It broke something in him.

”Chan, baby please. I need- I need you,” Felix begged. Chan went more red than he already was, if that was even possible. The pairing of his name with baby made him feel bubbly for a second. And with how Felix looked, brows knit, mouth hanging open, and those big eyes with blown pupils looking down at him. He wanted to give that man everything in the world.

Chan snaked his hand under Felix’s waistband, Felix gasped lightly at the touch and held his breath. Chan wrapped his hand around Felix’s hard cock and began to stroke him slowly, Felix eyes slammed shut, breathing hard and shaky.

Chan kissed his stomach, applying more pressure he pulled Felix’s dick out of his boxers. Immediately licking a long wet strip on the underside of Felix’s cock, goosebumps ran down his back as he tugged on a fistful of Chan’s hair. Chan’s jaw fell slack again, Felix swears he felt Chan moan against his dick.

Chan took the head of his cock into his mouth and it made Felix’s head spin. Chan wrapped his lips around it and ran his tongue over the slit in the process. Wet pressure surrounded Felix as Chan took more of Felix’s cock into his mouth, sliding down with hollowed cheeks and a hand working the base.

Felix couldn’t even repress the moan that drew from him. He knew he was too loud but he didn’t stop, didn’t let up him grip on Chan’s hair either. So he pulled at it again, knowing exactly how it makes Chan shudder. But Chan moaned around dick instead, low and muffled, he felt it more than he heard it.

Chan pulled back again, using his spit to lube up his hand on the base of Felix’s cock. Then bobbing his head back down he lead with his tongue, sucking hard as he did so. Felix want to scream when Chan looked up at him, hollowing his cheeks and locking eyes with him as he released it to lick and suck sloppily around the head.

Felix dropped his head, completely obscene noises spilling from his lips as he pulled hard on Chan’s hair, rolling his hips into his mouth. Chan’s eyes seemed to roll back in his head as he practically whimpered, pumping the base in the slow pase Felix set.

“God, baby you’re so good to me” Felix praised as he let Chan work him, bobbing his head in time with Felix’s thrusts, tears welling up in his eyes as he took Felix to the base. Felix could feel Chan’s throat around him then, he threw his head back, pleaing incoherently. The hand he had tight in Chan’s hair was more to keep his knees from giving out than anything else now.

Chan didn’t let up though, sucking the absolute life outta his dick, looking up at him with blown pupils as he moaned softly around his cock. “Chan Chan Chan” Felix chanted under his breath through staggerd pants.

Felix could feel it coming, could feel the heat in his gut build and how his hands started to shake lightly. Felix wanted this to last forever, or at least remember every fucking detail of it, burn it into his memory until he sees it when he closes his eyes. But Chan was damn good, maybe it wasn’t that Chan was particularly good at sucking dick but Chan himself, his warmth, his presence, just fucking Chan was good.

Felix desperately grasped at Chan’s hair, Felix spoke on a shaky, low voice “Chan, Chan I’m close , I-“ what could have been any more words were swallowed by a loud deep moan as Chan sucked hard on the tip, swirling his tounge around it he slowly took the rest of Felix’s dick into his mouth, savoring every whimper and moan.

Felix went to pull Chan back but Chan had full control, knowing exactly what he wanted to do, he bobbed his head and took Felix completely to the base. Felix vision nearly faded out as his orgasm crashed over him, waves of extacy flooded his whole body from fingertips to toes; He couldn’t bother to care how loud he was, he practically screamed Chan’s name, preceded by curses and followed by praise, both entirely unintelligible.

Chan pulled back with a loud gasp for air as Felix collapsed to the floor with him.(this is where he puts his dick away too but idk how to write that and not sound weird so here we are) Felix lazily carded through Chan’s hair, limbs too heavy to do much. Chan kicked his legs out from how he was kneeling, sitting more comfortably in front of Felix he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Felix’s lips that melted Felix’s heart. “You’re amazing” Was all Felix could think to say in that moment, almost mumbling it to himself. Chan gave him a small, shy smile, blush reappearing with a passion and Felix just  _had_ to kiss him. 

Kissing him felt so right, he could nearly cry. He really wanted to.


End file.
